This last week has been a hard one for my family up in Canada.
While on vacation last August, we had just arrived when my middle sister's mother in law, Celine, had been given a diagnosis of 6 months to live . Cancer is a cruel fate. But in the end it was her heart that gave out. Celine was a wonderful wife, mother, mother in law, and grandmother. My sister loved her. And my brother in law is devastated. My heart goes out to all who loved her.
My sister had booked a small vacation with a girlfriend before knowing about the diagnosis. Celine had hung on through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. My sister's trip soon came. She went to see Celine before leaving to say goodbye (for the trip) and had asked her to hang on & wait for her to get back. She then left for Toronto which took a day. The next day she was scheduled to leave for Mexico. The night that she was in Toronto Celine died. My brother in law forbid anyone from telling my sister. He did not want to ruin her vacation. This man, who loved his mother, loved my sister enough that he did not demand that she return immediately. He hasn't even told her that his mom has past. I don't even know if he had the appropriate clothing ready & waiting for when this sad time would arrive. He & my nephew (14 years old) have been leaning on each other while my sister is away. They were close before but I'm sure they are closer now. Mom said the two of them were like a boat without a rudder with my sister gone. My brother in law has gone over to my parent's a few time since his mom's death. They sit & talk. He cries, my nephew cries. Mom feeds them & listens. Mom, Dad, my youngest sister & her husband all went to the funeral. I wish we could have gone. To show my love & respect. Tonight my sister comes home. She will find out about Celine, and that she couldn't be there for her husband to lean on. I don't know how she will react. Will she be able to see how much her husband loves her?
9 comments:
((((((hugs)))))
Ugh. If my MIL died, even during the first day of my vacation, I would not be happy if my husband kept it from me. It's so great that you parents could be there for him and his son right now, though! But your sister missed the funeral? Oh Spyder...I hope she's ok with it all.
Janet- Thanks!
Faith- I don't think she will be happy. But that was her husband's decision. I haven't heard from home yet...
This made me tear up at my desk yesterday. I understand completely why he did what he did. I hope she understands.
Right before I finally quit smoking in the summer of 2006, I felt so crappy that I seriously thought I could just drop dead at any moment.
My daughter was on a 3 week trip to Australia as a Student Ambassador. We had worked for the better part of a year to prepare and pay for that trip.
While she was gone, I took to carrying a letter in my pocket giving instructions if anything should happen to me. One of those instructions was to NOT tell my daughter until she got back. I even listed her return date, flight and gate number to make sure someone would be there to pick her up.
I didn't want anything, not even my sudden death, to interfere with her once in a lifetime trip.
So yes, I understand completely.
XO- Love is a very strong emotion & motivator. Glad is also got you to quit smoking.
I found out by email from mom that my sister didn't find out till she got home.
(((((hugs))))))
Thanks Fate!
Oh, wow. I think your brother chose the path that felt like the best gift, filled with love. I think your sister will find it very, very hard to see that - because what is love if you can't be there to support and love on those closest to us? I know my husband carried a huge load in the 2 months between my father's cancer diagnosis & his death (and beyond if the truth be told) and he would have been wracked with guilt had he been kept out of any part of the process. I think it will be important to emphasize to her that she is not less-than, or unimportant to the family, but in fact so important, the gift of vacation and happiness felt like the right decision. I hope their grief can sew them together and leave them feeling stronger, even through the pain.
jen- You're right. I know she would have wanted to be supportive for him. But she needs to remember that she was there for the 6 months after the diagnosis.
I did hear from mom that my sister's father in law asked them to go on vacation with him next August. And that my brother in law is crying less. So that is all good news.
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