A Newfie walked into a bank in Toronto and asked for the loans officer. He told the loans officer that he was going to Newfoundland on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.
However since he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan.
The Newfie handed over his keys to a new Ferrari that was parked on the street in front of the bank.
The Newfie produced the title and everything checked out.
The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Newfie for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Newfie returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Newfie replied: 'Where else in Toronto can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?'
Ah, Newfies..... See! Salt Beef is good for the brain.
CBC reports, that gas stations will soon start showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps, so that you can see someone else getting screwed at the same time you do !!..........
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
'I'd like to be six again,' she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again??'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you idiot!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
I was supposed to plant flowers in our flower boxes tonight. But it wasn't to be. Kanga took his pickup loaded with the weekly trash up our driveway to the north end of our property to our dumpster. Unfortunately he had to drive backward all the way back. A huge tree had fallen across the driveway. Unfortunately it was too far from the house to run our extension cords for my electric chainsaw. We tried using Coleman Powerworks plugged into the pickup to juice up my chainsaw. It just wasn't powerful enough. So I walked over to our neighbor & asked if I could borrow a cup of Electricity. Yup that's what I said to our neighbor to the north of us. We plugged our extension cords together to their outlet. Kanga took a shortcut through the woods to shorten the distance. I cut & he loaded the pickup with the cut wood. I love to use my chainsaw but I had had hoped to get my impatiens planted. Guess I'm being impatient.
You Are Fruit Loops |
 You're very fun loving and easily bored. You need everything in your life to be over the top. You are definitely attracted to shiny and colorful objects. If kids love something, you tend to love it as well. You a very short attention span and are easily distracted. You are likely to eat something very random for breakfast... or forget to eat it at all. |
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Help America - spend your rebate wisely. email from my mother in law |
