More jokes from Mom

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 - - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story?? ? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

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Happy Hour in Newfoundland

A Newfoundlander is driving down a back road in St. Johns .

A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
Lobster Tail and Beer

'Lord tunderin' jaysus' he says to himself, 'me 3 favourite tings