Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Conquering your fears.

I'm not a very good swimmer. When I was in grade 3 my best friend & her 2 brothers drowned. 3 little coffins. So sad. Plus Dad thought it was funny to swim under water & pull my leg trying to pull me under. So I would just stay out of the water. It wasn't until I was an adult that I taught myself to swim. Never in a lake, only in a pool. And I try to keep my face from getting wet. If your face is dry you can't drown. Right? Plus I'm blind as a bat without my glasses which is kinda scary for me in the water.

I don't think I could do what Banky did. Way to go Dude!

But I have to say I have conquered other fears. I once touch a pet boa constrictor. And there is a very deep rooted fear that I have dealt with back in 1999-2000. Even though it would have been a disaster for my parents to stay married their divorce did have an affect on me. One that I wasn't even aware of until I took the time to analyze my life. Once I tackled that fear Life was all the more sweeter. Ask Kanga he would tell you how much better our marriage is since then. We all have issues. A lot depends on if you take the time to deal with them or not. Life can be good, or it can be great. Your choice.

Good Morning Ociffer!

Yup! Got stopped by a motorcycle police officer this morning. He must have heard me laughing at Kanga. I drove to Colorado once, St Louis twice & never got a ticket. Drive to work listening to NPR I get nailed! Damn! Go ahead & laugh I know you want to.

Monday, July 28, 2008

More jokes from Mom

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 - - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story?? ? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

*******************************************************************************

Happy Hour in Newfoundland


A Newfoundlander is driving down a back road in St. Johns .

A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
Lobster Tail and Beer


'Lord tunderin' jaysus' he says to himself, 'me 3 favourite tings

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Happy Anniversary Baby!

Kanga,

23 years married to you has just flown by. I'm glad we stuck with it.

I love you!

I'm coming home to you today.

Spyder

Friday, July 25, 2008

On the road again! or Does she ever stay home?

Around 9:30am today I left home with two riders. We stopped in Columbia, Mo. for Shakespeare's Pizza. All 3 of us ladies got 8 inch pizzas & killed them. I'm hoping I can talk them into stopping on the way back on Sunday. We arrived at SLU ( St Louis University) after 3pm sometime but before 5pm traffic. We checked in & were assigned a suite: 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, a living room, kitchen & laundry. There was a welcome buffet supper, then off to St. Francis Xavier College Church. There was music, mimes, and juggling, followed by pop/punch ( no booze)/coffee & cookies. I know it sounds really weird. It was. He juggled grapes, then machetes, then beanbag chairs. WTF! 3 freaking beanbags chairs! Really! The music was beautiful. I ran into people from the silent retreat from last week. Even someone I met in 2005 when I did it then. Had a Jesuit friend from St Louis sit with us at supper. The buildings are cold & it was surprisingly cool here outside today. I've looked at the schedule & classes being offered & picked my three. Since breakfast is at 7:30am across campus & I need to get up at 6AM I'll close now. Oh yea why am here? It's a national Ignatian Spirituality conference. You can feel the Love here!!!

Ps. Kanga,I miss you!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Food, Friends, Funny (July Blogger Gathering Report)

Banky For President
Bea's Weblog
Beneath the Ginko-Kanga
Chimpotle-Chimpo
Fate's Thoughts-Andrew
General Blather-Heather
Janet & Keith Sader Family-Keith
Kansas City Lunch Spots-DLC-Dave
Logtar's Blog
M.Toast Hivemind-Toast
Nuclear Buffalo-Nuke
Ramblings, Rants, and Mommyhood Journal-Janet

New to the Blogger Gathering was:

Ed (@EdRoberts) who has these 4 blogs/podcasts:
Podsafe Christmas
Miscellaneous Uses for a Blog
Looking out the Window
Kansas City Weather Podcast

Bruce: Trailing Edge Technology
MrGadgets Almanac of Techie Wizardry & Travel Compendium
MrGadgets LinkZ


A few tweeters showed up:

@kaylovesmusic

@silverzippo

And commenter:
Travel

Heard at the gathering: Banky saying "I've moved onto other men boys" after Logtar made a comment about stealing Banky's friend.

But then Banky said that "Logtar is quick.....to please"

Kanga said "If you get an erection..." I think he was talking about chastity belt in the medieval times. (I hope!)

There were parlor tricks down on the Tweeter end of the table. Followed by the comment "You have to like the finger"

It was a great time as usual.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Friday, July 18, 2008

I'm back biatches!

I'm back with vengeance! Well, not really. I've come back recharged & refreshed. And I will tell you right now that I don't like being away from Kanga, the hubby. He met me at the airport with red roses & dark chocolate. Ya, I know. I'm one lucky biatch. But remember he didn't come this way. On July 27th it will be 23 years of careful molding & training. I still haven't decided who I'm willing him to when I die. LOL!

The retreat was great! Lots of silence, which I broke a few times ( I know you aren't surprised at all). I didn't have to do any cooking or cleaning all week. All I did was show up for mass, meeting, and meals. I also took naps in the afternoon. I don't know if I can maintain this serenity if I have to work, and don't have naps. I read a couple of books. One really touched me & brought tears more than once. Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal by Rachel Naomi Remen. Some of the music was moving, so moving I was in church at 7:45am every day.

I'm looking forward to seeing a bunch of you on Tuesday!

PS. Google Reader is 345 posts waiting for me. You've been busy while I've been gone.

Friday, July 11, 2008

While I'm away



Saturday I'm heading to Colorado for some spiritual healing.... I'm coming back on the 18th. I don't think I will have access to a computer & I'm not taking mine. But I am taking my Motorola Q phone & have web access on it. IF I can get reception I'll be checking on you & posting on Twitter (in my sidebar).



Very peaceful, relaxing, and recharging. That's the plan. I did find out last night that they now have air conditioning. Thank you Jesus! Last time I was there it was 105F. It's a dry heat they say. I'm here to tell ya I was soaking wet. It's a beautiful place. Here's a few photos that I took last time.

I'm hoping to get started on a small tapestry while there or at least some knitting. I'll also be doing some reading.

Don't blow up the internets while I'm gone.

I'll see you at the July Blogger Gathering!

Friday Joke

Anger Management.......


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take It out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a "FOR SALE" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called asshole #1.

He said, 'Hello.'

I said, 'You're an a sshole!' (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah.'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me!!!!!!!!'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . I have a Black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass.'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right how.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax ..

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

July Blogger Gathering

Tuesday July 22nd, 5pm, at

Fred Garcia Tarahumara Mexican
10001 W 87th St,
Overland Park, Ks
913-403-9211

Come for the food, come for the drink, come for the conversation. Just come!

Please let me know if you are planning on being there so that we can warn them.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Waiting on the end of a f-ing long week!

I haven't mentioned this all week. The hubby, Kanga, left on June 28th. He flew to Tampa to help his mom moved to Rochester, NY. She's done with hurricanes! He helped her pack, and did some repair work on her condo (now for sale!). Then on July 1st he, Mom, and her cat drove to Rochester, NY. Badger, brother in law, lives there. 3 days on the road. Once there they had to do some shopping to set her up in her new apartment. Then there was some repair work & yard work at Badger's house.

He was suppose to arrive tonight just before 10pm. The f-ing flight was delayed in Rochester. He finally arrived in Atlanta. He called me to say that it's a zoo there. And get this: his flight leaves AFTER midnight. I was hoping to be in bed spooning with my honey by then. It's now just after 10pm. He should be here. It's been a long week.

We don't like being apart. I know, hard to believe. On July 27th we will have been married for 23 years. We have a great life together.

Kanga was worried about me being alone here at the house. He also was worried about me having to walk our dogs. Big dogs! The dogs & I did pretty well, even though we missed him. Not to mention having to deal with a Great Dane who is terrified of fireworks. Thank God for Rescue Remedy.

The last two Saturdays my girlfriend, Professor J, & I went shopping, had supper out. Then back to my home to hang out. She stayed both Saturday nights, crashing on the couch with the cats. We sat around on both Sundays drinking coffee, talking and watching the wildlife here. There were all kinds of birds, squirrels, a chipmunk, and a groundhog.

Kanga just called to say that they are boarding, midnight Atlanta time. And this is why I will be driving to Canada in August. He wants me to fly. I don't think so. I rather spend 2 days driving up & 2 days back than deal with planes & airports.

So while I wait I think I'll paint my nails. Got to be pretty for the hubby.