Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Fuck me running!


This last Sunday at church, during the sign of Peace, the older woman in the pew in front of me asked me a question. "Where's your good looking son?"
Fuck me running, I'm thinking. But I kindly respond:"I don't have a good looking son, but I do have a good looking husband."

Today, at the cheap hair salon, a young (maybe 6 years old) girl asks me this: "Is that your kid?"
I said: "No, that's my husband."
She then asks: "How do you do that?"
Once again, I'm thinking: fuck me running. I respond with "I don't quite know how to answer that."
She then says: "Where did you get him?"
Get him? I'm thinking. "Columbia, remember that. It's a good place to get husbands. Get them young."
Her brother, maybe a year older, who had been silent until now, speaks up and says: "Why?"
"So you can train them."
At that point their Mom says:"That's a good idea."
"Listen to your Mom kids, she's smart".

At that point the hubby's haircut was done. And we got the Hell out of there. Of course, he was laughing his ass off while I recounted this whole episode.

This week, I've been fucked by the elderly & the young.

I used to love my gray. Now, I'm seriously thinking of dying my hair. If I don't like that then I'm buzzing it. And IF I do color my hair I will NOT being doing this! You know what they say: In the dark all cats are black!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Spyder,
I completely sympathize. I love the gray hair. I think it’s beautiful, but I haven’t been brave enough to let mine take over for that very reason. It’s so unfair. I’m about 50% gray at this point and have been since my 30’s. I’ve seriously thought about going au natural but repeatedly decided against it. The largest reason being that I know if I let my hair go gray it would put me at a disadvantage in the competitive corporate world that I’m a part of. Also when I mentioned to my husband that I was considering going all gray, Ala Emmy Lou Harris, he sort of hesitated and said “Why don’t you give it a couple more years”. ~sigh~ I guess I will remain a slave to the box of Clairol.
~Venus

Nightmare said...

dye it fire engine red! Or a neon blue! that way you'll really fuck with those creepy people who ask inappropriate age-ist questions. They will just check out the hot stud, your hair and think...Jesus I bet she's freaky!

Janet said...

So THAT explains the email I got this am!

Come on over, I'll take care of you! (Please don't buy a box at the store!)

Spyder said...

Venus-Thanks! And it wasn't even men making those comments!

Night- LOL!!! Hubby might tell you I'm a bit freaky. Don't know if he will be talking sex or chainsaw!
Not blue! I don't need to be a bluehair.

Janet- I will be emailing you SOON I think!

karen said...

About 1 1/2 years ago I had a picture of myself taken with my son. When I looked at it I thought "who the hell is the old chick?" That's when I went back to coloring my hair.

I looked at the pubic hair coloring link. Oh.Hell.No.

PS - can't go to the halloween party. Have fun bloggers!

Kato said...

OK, babe, I love the gray mare pic. And you're young where it counts...
The hubby.

Nuke said...

First of all, as to today's title I say "Take Off" LoL... Wait your hubby should say that... oh never mind...

Luckily as a guy, hair color isn't as big a deal. I have been going gray for like 5 years, and only my best friend's wife ever says anything bout it. Besides, it's the one thing that keeps me from getting carded.

N }:-

Spyder said...

Karen- Looking at old photos can really mess with you.

Hubby- I thought the old gray mare was appropriate. I won't ask you where it counts.

Nuke- When I read "Take Off" Hoser came to mind. Not calling you that, just that "take Off" brought back memories. At least my hair is very thick.

Happy In Bag said...

I don't know what you're talking about...

Xavier Onassis said...

Neither do I...

Spyder said...

happy & Xo-funnnyyyy! said sarcastically!)

Well,
I'll have you know that I'm being daring. I'll save the freaky for later! I'm putting my hair in Janet's hands. Bless her! Her hair always looks great. So she knows what the Hell she's doing. I don't even know what color SHE is picking for me. Come to the Halloween party to see.....

Kristine said...

Hey! Janet does hair?? I may need to see her! Spyder, I love your hair - can't wait to see what you've done between now and the party, though! Any count yet on how many have rsvp'd?

Janet said...

Yes, Janet does hair! Your hair will be washed in the kitchen sink, though. As long as you don't mind that!

Nuke said...

Crap, we had a Leading First that always said "Take Off" after anybody said "Fuck Me Running" so it's automatic that I think that Spyder...

However, I cannot believe that it NEVER occurred to me to connect "Take Off" to "Hoser" or "to the Great White North" Fuck I was raised on that shit.

Oh well, you ladies have fun doing hair!

thepaintman said...

how much older are you than your husband?

Spyder said...

Only 5 years!

Eolai said...

Speaking as a man (I've tried speaking as a woman but I don't do it very well), I have to say that I really like grey hair on women - whether it be 2 rogue hairs, a salt and pepper affair, an imbalanced skunk, or the full Emmylou. Consequently I always feel a little sad when grey hairs get dyed.

Spyder said...

Eolai, You'll be happy to hear that that I've gone natural for the last year or so. I was having to color it every 4 weeks since t grows so fast. Also it was getting expensive to do so often. I just say now that it is frosted by God!