Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Here not there, there not here

This post started out as a comment on Logtar 's blog post Colombia or Chicago home? I decided to flesh it out more & post it here since I haven't really sat down & written something personal in a while. Life has been busy. And that's fine with me. I'm not going to take on any guilt for having a life.

Logtar, I know how you feel, I think. Canada will always be home, the home of my youth. I left in June 1975 after graduating from high school. Kansas City is the home of my adulthood. I've gone to school, worked, bought a house, made friends, good friends, lifelong friends. But I feel torn. Not complete, ever. I'm always missing something, someone. It can be something as small as a Coffee Crisp chocolate bar , or a standing on the end of the dock watching the Northern Lights with a loon crying in a distance, or as big as missing Christmas with my whole family. I've been like this since I was 5 years old & my parents divorced. I've spent part of the year in Canada & part in the USA, for thirteen years. Always missing a parent. I spent my young adulthood looking for love, to try to fill that empty spot in my heart/soul. I'm a very emotional person. I've been hurt many times. I may not be complete, but I'm more. I've had more experiences, more cultures, more languages. I persevered and still found my soulmate, my husband of 25 years. His parents are also divorced. He spent years living and moving all across the USA , even many years in Australia. I think one of the things that has bound us together is that he has had a somewhat similar life experience. The same for Logtar & Bea. Far from home they found each other. And there they found home.

1 comment:

Logtar said...

You are completely right, we have found a home with each other, like you have with Andy. You do feel the same way I do... its a longing for something that is probably impossible to attain because it is hard to merge all the differences, but I guess that is the fate of traveling souls :) much Love, and you know that our home is your home too!