Monday, March 31, 2008

7 Deadly Social Sins

Politics without Principle
Wealth without Work
Commerce without Morality
Pleasure without Conscience
Education without Character
Science without Humanity
Worship without Sacrifice


Sunday, March 30, 2008

For Stinkbait Boucher!

Two Canadian national treasures in one post: hockey & Stompin Tom Connors. I grew up watching both. I was cruising youtube checking out everything on him. Enjoy! She shoots, she scores!

Love this!

Just when my new phone is on it's way.

Topics of conversation

Saturday night I was over at Bea's & Logtar's home. It was a great time & I didn't leave until after 1 AM sometime. Their friend, Sheryl, was there doing henna painting. Wow! Is she good! You Firefly/Serenity fans will appreciate the henna I got. Check it out! I met some of their friends who seem to be as nice as Bea & Logtar. Later in the evening when it got down to 5 women & 2 men then conversation went South! So Many Books was there & may post more on the evening. So here are a few of the topics we covered: Anal bleaching Holy Shit! Do I live a sheltered life! And I'm glad. Men naming the their johnsons. Then there was talk of costumes for them, then size & girth, online dating and many, many other subjects. Needless to say there was a lot of laughs.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Joke

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade
listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?' The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Can it get any better?

Tonight's KC Blogger Gathering totally rocked!!! Here is the list of bloggers who came. * next to the two first timers.

Average Jane
Bea's Weblog
Beneath the Ginko-Kanga
Fate's Thoughts
Frighteningly Uncommon Sense
General Blather
Gone Mild
Hip Suburban White Guy
Janet & Keith Sader Family Only Keith
Kansas City's Keri Oke Lounge *
Law School Bound - KC Sponge
Logtar's Blog
M.Toast Hivemind
Nuclear Buffalo *
So Many books, So Little Time
The D Rules
Three O'Clock In The Morning
Well Hell Michelle
and out of towner Chickrawker who had been to one last year.

plus myself for a total of 22!

There were excellent door prizes! Lots of laughing & talking, food & drink. Quote of the evening, and you know there were plenty: After XO left Keith moved to his spot at the table. Keith had made a comment & I said that XO's chair was a big chair to fill. Keith then said something long the lines of "XO has a ginormous ass". I bet we see Janet at the next Gathering. What do you think?
I think it was close to 10pm when Kanga & I left. I came home to a letter from my best girlfriend Sister Julia! Woohoo! I'm going to see her in June!!!!

Then I get on my laptop & find out that I won the Ebay auction for a Verizon Motorola Q9M Smartphone Cell Phone!!! So I can keep up with my peeps while I travel this summer.

And to top all that off I'm eating a Crunchy peanut butter samich. I haven't had one of those in a few years. Life is good! Can it get any better?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Saturday lunch buffet

I went to Ruchi with a girlfriend to celebrate her birthday Saturday. Very good! We then hit Oak Park mall which I hadn't been to in years, and she never. Wow was that place crowded!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Joke- Idiot Sighting


We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."We haven't used Sears repair since.


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so,and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman, KS


My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I as crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.


When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"His reply, "I know. I already got that side."This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE!

May I help you?

Ok, that came to mind because I had Gates yesterday.

My Personality

Openness to Experience

You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you, however you are poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. You get overwhelmed by too much noise and commotion and do not like thrill-seeking activities. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

PureAwakening Jewelry.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


What happened? My blog was black, now it's white! I want to go back, to black.

UPDATE! Fixed it! Wooohooo!

For my beer buddies

Beer Fights Cancer

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 8:17 AM

By: Sylvia Booth Hubbard

Researchers are always looking for the magic bullet to kill cancer, and now they may have found it in a surprising place — a glass of beer! (Who knew?) It turns out that hops, which is the flavor component of beer, contains a cancer-fighting compound called xanthohumol.

Xanthohumol turns out to be toxic to several kinds of human cancer, including prostate, ovarian, breast, and colon. Further, it inhibits enzymes that can activate the development of cancer, and also helps detoxify carcinogens. It even seems to slow down tumor growth in the early stages. Scientists are trying to produce hops that contain even more xanthohumol, and the Germans are racing to develop a “health” beer.

But wait — there’s more! Other compounds in hops are potent phytoestrogens which may help with post-menopausal hot flashes and also prevent osteoporosis.

Beers that provide the most benefits contain the most hops, and include strong brews such as ale, stout, and porter. In general, the darker the beer, the better. For those who can’t stand beer, herbal supplements made from hops contain the highest concentrations of beneficial elements.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Sent to me by Mom (in Canada)

A British man's opinion on Muslims, Islam, terrorism. I hadn't seen this before. Thought you might find it interesting. Click here

Joke for St Patrick's Day

The Tale of the Irish Sausage Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. >Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!" They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin'me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Firefighter to the rescue

Here's a feel good story


Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a girls Night Out, and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom.They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something. The first woman had nothing to dry herself with she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them away. Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the ribbon. The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, This girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife came home last night without her panties.' That's nothing,' said the other husband, 'Mine came home with a card stuck to her arse that said, ' FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION, WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU

Friday, March 14, 2008

I rule my little World!

I am 64% Evil Genius.
Deceitful & Crazy!
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

KC Bloggers Gathering

Date:Wednesday March 26, 2008
Time:5:00 pm - ? pm
Type:Happy Hour
Location:Jaywalkers Sports Bar & Grill
Street:3916 Rainbow Blvd.
City/State/Zip:Kansas City, KS 66103

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Friends, countrymen lend me your email

Wholey crap! Those of you who haven't been to a blogger gathering don't know how much fun we have. I've gathered the email addresses of those who have & a couple people who haven't made it yet but plan to ( read Nuke, and Doc). Once a month I start an email to all trying to pick a date & a place for the monthly gathering. We like to move it around to be fair to all. Is the moon full or what? Because the last 2 days have been email ping pong. Tons of one liners, burns, slams or whatever else you want to call them. Each one building on the previous. To give you just a taste here's one:

Holy crap!!!
I go on the road for work and I come back to 30+ messages of sex kittens, smoked meat, and monkey poop fights. Not to mention router woes, mascara failure and the ever popular cake vs pie discussion. Of course lets not forget she males and big ass swords... not that there is anything wrong with that.
Thank you all, for taking the suck right outa my day!!!
Nuke }:-

My office mate has heard me giggle out loud on & off because of some of the emails. You guys are the wind beneath my skirt!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm drinking and it's not pretty

I'm so mad I'm drinking. Well, I was planning on drinking before but now I need it. I'm having a girlfriend over Saturday evening while the hubby is out gaming. We will be having chocolate martinis. I stopped on the way home for a few supplies. I just finished one & find it difficult to type. Frigging typos! The reason I NEED to drink is this. Kanga, the hubby, was told by his boss that she doesn't want him to take vacation in August like we have for like maybe the last freaking decade. I was so upset ( sad, angry....) that I was in tears. Both my sisters (maybe the brothers in law also) have take time off in August to spend with us while we are in Quebec. Because of Kanga taking classes we have gone in August for years now. He is determined to keep at the degree in hopes of graduating ASAP. So there is no way of him taking a vacation during the Fall semester. Personally, I would much prefer to go home in the Fall. It so beautiful then. So as of this minute I am going home by myself in August. He will take vacation days here & there. Working around his class schedule he will go out to Rochester to see his brother & help with his mom moving in there. I've given my mom a heads up on this. She was thinking that maybe he didn't want to go to Canada. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. He loves it there as much as I do. FUCK! This pisses me off! What was that you said Nightmare " A furore Normannorum libera nos, Domine!" And I said don't piss off a Northwoman. Well, it's happened. I'm going to the kitchen to make another martini. This last one is wearing off.

Sunday, March 09, 2008


On Saturday, Kanga & I did some running around doing shopping & stuff. Price Chopper was having a MASSIVE MEAT sale on Saturday & Sunday. We were both cracking up when we saw the sign outside the store. I just wanted to show you the MASSIVE MEAT I brought home! I love saying MASSIVE MEAT! hahhahahahaha!

Sunday church bulletin

I was showered, hair & makeup done when I realized that I was 1 hour behind. Crap! So in honor of church here is a little something sent to me by my mother in law. Even you heathens might get a laugh.

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. Some old, some new. These sentences ( with all the BLOOPERS ) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The Sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

Friday, March 07, 2008

Friday dedications

This song (Broken Radio) or maybe this one (Another Guitar by Bob Walkenhorst) is for Stink.

This song (
Secret Agent Man sung by Bob Walkenhorst) is for Doc.

This song (Call Me Any Name by Jeff Porter) is for Kanga. He loves this song.

This song (15 Miles by Jeff Porter) is for XO.

Weird dream

Last night, I had a dream where I was flirting in French with a boyfriend from centuries ago. Glad to know I still got it. I haven't had one in French in a long time. I think Stink & Doc are the cause.

Listen to this Robbie Robertson song that is stuck in my head sung by Bob Walkenhorst.

Jamaican Me Crazy

I got my pack of coffee from Joffrey's Java Beta Test. When I signed up I used Spyder. as my name. I wonder what my postman thought when he delivered it today? So tomorrow the plan is to give it a taste try. It beta be good!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Ya Baby!

Congratulations, you're worth MORE in bed than the average ($202.81851615477) person taking this quiz!

bedroom toys
Powered By Adult Toy

Wonder if my score would have been bigger if I was younger?

Found at Keith's blog

Monday, March 03, 2008

I'm kicking myself

Saturday was so nice that Kanga & I worked outside in the yard. One of the things we do every now & then is go pick up the trash that some *insert not nice word here* has thrown out of their car window as they drive by. OMG are some people pigs. We've found dirty diapers, used condoms, and the usual fast food trash. But this time what I found freaked Kanga. In a double baggy was about one ounce of ...wellllll.... what do you think? I showed Kanga. I think he thought we were going to get busted right then & there. I held it between 2 fingers (since the outside baggy was nasty from being in the dry creek bed) as I carried it up to the house with the trash we picked up. (We aren't into this particular type of entertainment but I have no problem if other people do. ) Once in the house I put it on the table in the sunroom. Today at work, I called Kanga to ask him if he had asked his boss what her husband (state trooper) suggested doing. Kanga's boss said that it was out of her hubby's jurisdiction, to call the local police. And there on the table since Saturday it sat until this evening. Why you ask am I kicking myself? Because I missed a great opportunity. I forgot to take photos!!!!! I could have taken one of the baggy, then one of the toilet with it floating on the surface, maybe once as the water swirled around. The sound of all that running water must have gotten to Kanga because next thing to happen is Kanga is ...welllll...watering the rest of what was still floating. Now THAT would have been a shot! Did I think that maybe a friend might be willing to help us & remove this from our possession? Yessss! Was I willing to take it somewhere, like maybe a blogger gathering? HELL NO! I luv you guys but not that much. Not enough to take a chance that Kanga would become somebodies biatch.

*insert not nice word here* This was for Donna I told her I would try to be nice. But y'all know what I'm thinking.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Got my MOJO back

I didn't post it here before the blogger gathering as I wanted to surprise. I had all my hair chopped off. Well, most of it. Actually from the top of my ears down, all across the back I had it buzzed. The top is maybe 2 inches long. I feel like I got my MOJO back. There was something that I needed to do but I couldn't get get it done. I cut the hair & got it done the next day. I think I'm going to reclaim my gray while I'm at it. When I get bored I jack with my hair. I've spent way too long looking for a photo. It's a boy cut. But most important is I got my MOJO back. Watch out biatches!

UPDATE: I found a photo of my haircut!

Men & BBQ...

After going to mass this morning to pray for you heathens I went to Costco. I love that store! Everybody & their uncle was there. I even ran in to a fella from work (different Dept.) with his beautiful little daughter.

I had a small list. I was hungry since I didn't stop for lunch before heading there. You could tell that from my cart.

I pushed my cart by a whole outside BBQ, fridge combo thingy. Kinda looked like the photo here. There was 4 men standing there drooling. I said "Wow, a man's wet dream." One guy said "Yea!" I told them that I was a vegetarian. Another piped up " You could make pancakes, or grill some veggies & tofu". As I decided to move on I said "You could live out on the patio with that." I'm sure that they were busy dreaming of grilling & didn't hear me.

Kanga is the only meat eater (except for our pets, and my love of bacon) in our house. So 99% of the time he doesn't grill. He says it's not worth the effort to pull the BBQ grill out of the garage. We have hosted a few BBQs here, mostly political gatherings but also a few friend gatherings. That said we are planning to have a BBQ with all our blogger friends this year. We haven't picked a date yet.

Kanga just had me print out Greg's per-fuckin-fect fried chicken. I noticed that Greg & XO have Old Bay in common. Guess next trip to the store I'm looking for Old Bay!